Ineffectual Me

An original slam poem

Ineffectual me,
Unmedicated ADHD,
Can't sit still while writing poetry,
Call me Jogging K. Rowling.

Begins this way:
A boy grew up in Maynard,
Second smallest town
Took a while to learn to say words,
As his tongue twists in his mouth

He was phenomenal with aleph-null,
Made math quickly his passion
Geometric, slick assassin
Filled with sugar that make him crackling
He was cackling, passing stacks of classes
Who would've had it that inside he was sad.

Got distracted from math, so many slaps
On his hands, scrapped so many
Paths, this and that, no longer
Enough to make it past
He should find a different craft
So he can stop being daft.

Ineffectual him.
Ineffectual me.

But look, on the keys
It's a five year old, Jeez
Playing harmonies, no harm in these
Had a teacher, she'd marvel at me
"So proud, now do it faster,"
So I played as she pleased.

It was years of perspiring,
Pounding fists, expiring
Reach higher, don't cry they'd say
But inside, I'm dying, hey!

Is this the pain that leads to pleasure,
What's on the other side?
Will I be the best if I'm trying to hide
These bursting emotions inside?
Am I flawed to feel obliged
To let my inner thoughts fly?

Ineffectual me,
So un-directional, he.
Sometimes I wonder why I tried so hard
When the truth was so obvious,
Swear to God I should've stopped and gripped
The realization, the only realization...

That a bug is ineffectual in a storm
Just as I am ineffectual in this world
Take each of my qualities and watch, you'll see
Another million copies
One who speaks less choppy
A whole heap of Steves
Who can outdo me as they please,
Oh, ineffectual me.